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Funny Voicemail Greetings work, they really do!

There is a plethora of funny voicemail greetings found online if you're stuck for ideas. Here's a couple we've found for June that qre quite comical in a warped sort of way:

"Hi. I can't come to the phone now because I have amnesia and I feel stupid talking to people I don't remember. I'd appreciate it if you could help me out by leaving my name and telling me something about myself. Thanks". Beep!

This is not a voicemail; this is a telepathic thought-recording device. After the tone, think about your name, your reason for calling, and a number where I can reach you and I'll think about returning your call. Beep!

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If no one is Leaving Messages then your Greeting is Wrong

A typical answering machine messages might sound something like this:
“Hello. You’re through to 000-000-0000 Sorry, we’re unable to take your call right now. Please leave your message after the tone”. Beeeeeep!

Those pre-recorded voice messages are well intentioned, but very few callers take any notice of them, let alone wait to leave a response after the tone. If you don’t want to miss calls while you’re out and about, or unable to get to the phone, keep reading.


Professional voicemail doesn't work, not even for professionals! If you seriously want your phone answering machines to work even better, then you might want to consider recording funny answer machine messages. They work, they really do! Here's one of just a plethora of hilarious voicemail greetings that will guarantee the caller stay on the line.

"Hi. I'm not at home right now because I'm out making changes in my life, so please leave me message and if I don't call you back, well, then you're probably one of those changes!"

Answering machine message like the one above are guaranteed to see an increase in callers leaving their message after the tone, and if you're a bit stiff and formal in real life, don't worry, because believe it or not, voice mail greetings like this will work even better because they're not expected. If you leave it to the phone answering service built in to your devices, you'll be waiting a long time for a message!

So now you know that funny answer phone messages will get you the best results, but wait, there's more to add. You can enhance your voicemail greetings even further by recording them on digital answering machines. The reason digital answering machines give such an advantage is because they have much better levels of sound quality and reliability when compared to analogue models. So now you have a crisp, clear message with a touch of humour. Try this and you will surely see your message tape fill up with callers rambles in no time at all.

Don't Forget those Funny Voicemail Greetings for Mobiles.

Although many of us have the mobile phone on our person most of the time, that doesn't mean we are always available to answer them. There are many occasions when we have to turn it off such as hospitals, aeroplanes, cinemas, place of work, and so on. Even so, most callers are taken straight through to the default voicemail greetings provided by the company. Personal phone greetings work just as well with the trusty cell phone as they do with those phone answering machines attached to landlines. And if this is not a business handset, then remember that funny voicemail greetings get better results.

n actual fact, entertaining voicemail greetings on cellular phones will work better than most landlines. The reason for this is because the mobile is usually personal to the individual, whereas the landline may be shared by the household and therefore potentially exposing the callers message to an entire family.

Whatever you decide remember that your phone greetings should be your own. When it's YOU asking YOUR callers to leave YOU a message, the response is positive. Your voice mail greetings to your callers will usually be responded with your caller's voice mail greetings and messages back to you, and anything else will simply not work most of the time.

Think about if for a second. How many times have you seen 'missed call' on your digital answering machines or mobile screenIf your answering machine messages are not working, then you need to record your own phone greetings for the home phone, or voicemail greetings for the Mobile? What you should be seeing is alerts informing you there are X number of messages waiting for you to listen too.

Summary: Funny Answer Machine Messages & Cell Phone Voicemail Greetings Work!

Whether you have an old monolog landline or one of the new fangled digital answering machines, the fact of the matter is if you want to get callers leaving messages, then get with it and record your informal or funny answer machine messages today and see the results immediately.

Funny Voice Mail Messages (Time to have some informal fun!)

Funny: Hello, you are talking to a machine. I am capable of receiving messages. My owners do not need siding, windows, or a hot tub, and their carpets are clean. They give to charity at the office and don't need their picture taken. If you're still with me, leave your name and home phone number and they will get back to you. Beep!

Funny: You know what I hate about voicemail messages? They go on and on, wasting your time. I mean, all they really need to say is, "We aren't in, leave a message." That's why I've decided to keep mine simple and short. I pledge to you, my caller, that you will never have to suffer through another long answering machine message when you call me. Beep!

Funny: Bob has been captured by a flying saucer and can't come to the phone right now, but if you leave your name, phone number, and a message; I'll have him call you back as soon as he gets away. Read all about it in next week's National Enquirer. Beep!

Funny: Greetings, you have reached the Sixth Sense Detective Agency. We know how you are and what you want, so at the sound of the tone, please hang up. Beep!

The Formal Voice Message (serious but friendly)

Sometimes we need a formal answer machine message though, so here's a good example below.  Note how the person slots in the word 'sure' to add promise to the callers that he'll return the call: 

Formal: Hello, you have reached Bob's voicemail, I am not available at the present moment, but if you leave your name, number and a short message I'll be sure to get back to you as soon as possible. Beep!

Formal: Hello, you have reached the office of Bob; I will be out of my office starting on Tuesday, October 18th and will be returning on Monday, October 24th. You can call me when I return or leave a brief message. If this is an emergency I can be reached on my cell, which is 222-222-2222. Beep!

The Creative Voice Message (These will really catch the caller's ear)

Creative:  This is you-know who. We are you-know-where. Leave your you-know-what you-know-when. Beep!

Creative ( better suited for females!):  Roses are red, some willows weep, please leave your message, after the beep Beep!

Creative: Hello. (Pause.) Hello? (Pause.) Hello! (Pause.) No, it doesn't look as if I'm in right now. Maybe you should leave a message or call me back later. Beep!

The Short Voice Message (great for impatient friends and family callers)

Hello. I'm John's voicemail message. What are you? Beep!

Who are you and why are you calling me? Beep!

Leave a message and I might get back to you. Beep!

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